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	<title>THE GAYLY &#187; Columns</title>
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	<link>http://www.gayly.com</link>
	<description>Keeping the FABULOUS south-central United States informed on current news and events affecting the LGBT community!</description>
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		<title>Susan E. Penney becomes a member of the Financial Services Institute</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/14/susan-e-penney-becomes-a-member-of-the-financial-services-institute/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=susan-e-penney-becomes-a-member-of-the-financial-services-institute</link>
		<comments>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/14/susan-e-penney-becomes-a-member-of-the-financial-services-institute/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 12:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Dorner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Susan Penney]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1328</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[~ Susan E. Penney, Westside Investment Management ~ Oklahoma City, OK – Local financial advisor Susan E. Penney, of Westside Investment Management, announced in she has become a member of the Financial Services Institute (FSI) in Washington, D.C., effective April 30th. FSI advocates for Main Street Americans’ access to unbiased, affordable financial advice, delivered by [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/penney-01-color.jpg"><img src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/penney-01-color-199x300.jpg" alt="" title="penney-01-color" width="199" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1329" /></a></p>
<p> ~ Susan E. Penney, Westside Investment Management ~ </p>
<p>Oklahoma City, OK – Local financial advisor Susan E. Penney, of Westside Investment Management, announced in she has become a member of the Financial Services Institute (FSI) in Washington, D.C., effective April 30th. FSI advocates for Main Street Americans’ access to unbiased, affordable financial advice, delivered by a growing network of over 35,000 independent financial advisor members. </p>
<p>“I am proud to become a member of the FSI, an organization that works hard every day, to protect my clients’ access to quality financial advice,” said Susan. “FSI helps educate elected officials and regulators on what Americans need from financial advisors and how the industry works with clients to secure their financial futures. They also help ensure that I can continue to offer my clients and potential clients the advice they need.”</p>
<p>“We are very pleased to have Susan E. Penney as a new member,” said FSI President &#038; CEO Dale E. Brown. “Our advocacy is only as effective as our engaged members. And conscientious advisors like Susan E. Penney help bring real-life experience to our efforts. We plan to work closely with Susan E. Penney as we advocate for independent financial advisors and the hard-working clients they serve.”</p>
<p>About the Financial Services Institute (FSI): FSI is an advocacy organization for independent financial services firms and independent financial advisors. Established in January 2004, we have well over 100 broker-dealer members and over 35,000 financial advisor members. Our member firms have upwards of 180,000 financial advisors affiliated with them. Our mission is to create a more responsible regulatory environment for independent broker- dealers and their affiliated independent financial advisors through effective advocacy, education and public awareness. And our strategy includes involvement in FINRA governance, constructive engagement in the regulatory process and effective influence on the legislative process. For more information, please visit www.financialservices.org. </p>
<p><em>(The Financial Consultants of Westside Investment Management are also Registered Representatives with, and Securities are offered through, LPL Financial Member FINRA/SIPC)</p>
<p></em><br />
<a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/westside.jpg"><img src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/westside.jpg" alt="" title="westside" width="244" height="173" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-1330" /></a></p>
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		<title>Think you know stress?  Unmask it</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/13/think-you-know-stress-unmask-it/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=think-you-know-stress-unmask-it</link>
		<comments>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/13/think-you-know-stress-unmask-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 May 2012 12:00:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Dorner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Coming Out]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tulsa]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1285</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[~ By Steven Michael Hall ~ If we&#8217;re making changes in life, we experience stress. That&#8217;s part of the process. In fact it&#8217;s a turning point. Once we meet stress, we charge ahead or retreat. We pass through the &#8220;danger zone&#8221; as the champion or we fall back. The beauty of stress is that it [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p> ~ By Steven Michael Hall ~ </p>
<p>If we&#8217;re making changes in life, we experience stress.  That&#8217;s part of the process.  In fact it&#8217;s a turning point. Once we meet stress, we charge ahead or retreat. We pass through the &#8220;danger zone&#8221; as the champion or we fall back. </p>
<p>The beauty of stress is that it signals that change is at hand. The poison of stress is that it signals that change is at hand. So often we take a stress signal as a red alert and run. But that&#8217;s because we don&#8217;t know the process. We also mistake the stress and pain of change as dangers. </p>
<p>One would think that as much as we live in stress, we would know stress. We should recognize its smell from 100 paces; know its favorite carrion, whine and swan song. But alas that&#8217;s not so.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s like we met at the Halloween Ball, and we didn&#8217;t want to remove the mask for fear of what&#8217;s underneath. While truth or facts are still hidden, we can pretend the status quo is pretty, even when it&#8217;s killing us.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve all met a dream date whose appeal was gone with the wind at the moment he or she opened their mouth.  Maybe the same fear of what might come next keeps us from knowing enough about stress to sink its battleship. But a little insight is the key to winning the upper hand. </p>
<p>If you dare to look, here&#8217;s a peek at stress: When stress is not describing a state of mind or emotions, it describes tension, pressure, force or emphasis on materials as metals, plastics, geological formations, music and speech. It measures how much push or pull can be placed on an object. It&#8217;s commonly used in dialogue about the elastic nature of this or that. And stress can relate to durability, impact, and sustainability &#8211;breaking, shattering and exploding. That&#8217;s beginning to sound like some friends&#8217; behavior. That&#8217;s my point. </p>
<p>The mind and emotions have both fixed or hardwired parts and an ability to be flexible or reinventing.   </p>
<p>The drama of stress is the play between what we expect or desire and reality as we see it. It&#8217;s the struggle of personal habits and new choices. It can be the war between our patience and the time it takes to grow a new habit while old habits fall away. And it can be others&#8217; actions or beliefs coming to battle our willingness to understand. These are growth processes that take time as they redevelop a brain cell (habit/new way of meeting). </p>
<p>Of course there&#8217;s more. But you know that. </p>
<p>So making choices about ‘Coming Out’ and processing through stress is largely weathering the zone between old reality and new reality. Coming Out can be stressful, but that will pass.  </p>
<p>I consider a temporary condition a better option compared to a chronic malaise. </p>
<p>Remember, there are supports, education and planning that soften or eliminate stress. So I suggest, push ahead, wisely and in the right time and manner. Even if the danger zone is not a mirage, it&#8217;s only temporary. </p>
<p>Editor’s Note: Steven Michael Hall facilitates the Coming Out Workshop with Shelley McGoffin each Tuesday at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center in Tulsa. Contact Oklahomans for Equality at 918 743 4297 for details about the program or visit www.okeq.org.</p>
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		<title>Scotty’s pulled pork sandwiches and the BOV cocktail</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/12/scottys-pulled-pork-sandwiches-and-the-bov-cocktail/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=scottys-pulled-pork-sandwiches-and-the-bov-cocktail</link>
		<comments>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/12/scottys-pulled-pork-sandwiches-and-the-bov-cocktail/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 May 2012 00:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Dorner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chef Scotty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1281</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[~ By Chef Scotty, Gayly Food Columnist ~ OKC PRIDE one weekend, followed up with Memorial Day Weekend the next. What to do with house-full of hungry family? Keep them full, keep them happy! PULLED PORK SANDWICH (cooking time: 10-12 hours) > One 5-7 pound Pork Butt Roast. Also called Picnic Roast, Boston Butt, Pork [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pork.jpg"><img src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pork-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="pork" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-1282" /></a><br />
 ~ By Chef Scotty, Gayly Food Columnist ~<br />
OKC PRIDE one weekend, followed up with Memorial Day Weekend the next. What to do with house-full of hungry family? Keep them full, keep them happy!</p>
<p>PULLED PORK SANDWICH (cooking time: 10-12 hours)<br />
> One 5-7 pound Pork Butt Roast. Also called Picnic Roast, Boston Butt, Pork Butt. It needs to have a nice layer of fat on the bottom, and plenty of marbling.<br />
> Disposable Aluminum Roasting pan. You’ll need one that is deep with high sides.<br />
*2 Yellow Medium Onions, thick sliced		*5 Cloves of fresh Garlic, smashed<br />
*2 32oz containers of ready made Beef Broth	 *1/2 C. Coarse Ground Black Pepper<br />
*1/2 C. Dried Thyme		*1/2 C. Dried Rosemary	 		*Kosher Salt<br />
In your disposable roasting pan, place the Pork Shoulder fat side up. Coat with a thin layer of the Kosher Salt. Pour enough of the beef broth along the side of the roast, so that it comes almost half-way up the side. Scatter sliced onions, and other ingredients all over the roast.<br />
Wrap tightly with aluminum foil, and place in a standard oven at 300 degrees, allowing it to cook over night. Check your roast after 10 hours; It should literally fall apart with a fork.<br />
When finished, shred with fork, and leave in its own juices. Serve with sandwich rolls, mayo, BBQ sauce, or any preferred condiment. Leave out and keep warm with plenty of napkins!<br />
BOV Cocktail<br />
*1- 2 Gal Glass Beverage Jar with spigot.<br />
*2 1.75 Lt Vodka<br />
*1 Fresh small Pineapple. Top and bottom trimmed, sliced with rind on.<br />
*1 whole orange sliced<br />
*1 whole lemon sliced<br />
*1 whole lime slices<br />
*fresh mint.<br />
 Add fruit and mint to your jarred container. Pour vodka on top, and let rest for one day. Pour 2 ounces of BOV over chipped ice. Add cranberry juice, and top with lemon/lime soda.<br />
 HAPPY PRIDE everyone! You’re perfect and wonderful the way you are. Much Love!<br />
Chef Scotty</p>
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		<title>Looking for love in all the wrong places</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/12/looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places</link>
		<comments>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/12/looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 May 2012 12:00:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Dorner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Robert Grupe]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1277</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[~ By Robert C. Grupe, PhD, Gayly Columnist ~ Addiction can come in many forms. While we many times think of addiction as self-medication through abusing a substance, that is really only the tip of the addiction iceberg. Let me illustrate through my life story. I began to unravel the thread of my addictive experiences [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p> ~ By Robert C. Grupe, PhD, Gayly Columnist ~ </p>
<p>Addiction can come in many forms. While we many times think of addiction as self-medication through abusing a substance, that is really only the tip of the addiction iceberg. Let me illustrate through my life story.</p>
<p>I began to unravel the thread of my addictive experiences when I wrote an autobiography* about addictions. Moving through four addictions in my life up to the age of 56, I was a busy boy.</p>
<p>At age 14, my anger engendered by my father’s isolation from me was demonstrated through excessive exercise. The weight training became an emotional outlet for my rage and I came close to damaging my heart before a doctor helped put a stop to that obsessive behavior.  But all was not better, because addiction is always a searching for something outside of us to fix a pain within.</p>
<p>A few years later, I joined a religious cult. Suddenly, I experienced the seductive jolt of believing that I was among a select few chosen by God. That “divine” election gave me a feeling of self esteem. It gave me a temporary fix of self value. But, after awhile, no matter the amount of prayer or study, that black hole within me was still not filled. Because that “religious” experience, a repetitive attempt to ease my pain, was not a true spiritual journey.</p>
<p>When the cult failed me, I then discovered alcohol. Intoxicated, I felt comfortable in a group, rather than feeling like an outsider. The alcohol dulled my pain and relaxed my mind from the nagging small voice that had been coaxing me to really understand why I was experiencing the stress of low self value. After some years, nearing death due to excessive drinking – I chose life with pain and the drinking ceased. But the addictive behavior did not.</p>
<p>I soon became addicted to food; cookies, ice cream and all the temporary pleasure junk food can bring. After a few years in this new effort to dull the psychological pain, my doctor informed me that I was now diabetic and my blood pressure was out of control.  Again, out of desperation, I chose life and changed my diet and lost weight.</p>
<p>I share these stories with you to say that the addictive marathon that I ran for much of my life was a flight from the truth of my same sex orientation. It was an attempt to escape the deeper reasons for my feeling isolated and different. Once I faced the truth of my being, I gave myself the freedom to cease running away from who I am and to finally begin to live.</p>
<p>*Dr. Grupe’s autobiography is titled, “Building Sand Castles – A Baby Boomer’s Journey through Addictions”</p>
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		<title>Syphilis on the rise for LGBT’s, particularly MSM’s</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/11/syphilis-on-the-rise-for-lgbts-particularly-msms/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=syphilis-on-the-rise-for-lgbts-particularly-msms</link>
		<comments>http://www.gayly.com/2012/05/11/syphilis-on-the-rise-for-lgbts-particularly-msms/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 May 2012 00:00:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Dorner</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chuck Longacre]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1268</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[~ Story by Chuck Longacre, RedRock BHS Columnist ~ Have you heard of Syphilis? Some have, lots haven’t. Syphilis is here, and it’s increasing in the LGBT community, particularly among men who have sex with men. Approximately one-half of all new HIV diagnoses in the state of Oklahoma, for the last two years, were co-infected [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/2012-03-11-QR-Code-HIV-Syphilis-CDC-3.png"><img src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/2012-03-11-QR-Code-HIV-Syphilis-CDC-3-300x300.png" alt="" title="2012-03-11 QR Code HIV-Syphilis CDC-3" width="300" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1270" /></a></p>
<p> ~ Story by Chuck Longacre, RedRock BHS Columnist ~<br />
Have you heard of Syphilis?  Some have, lots haven’t.  Syphilis is here, and it’s increasing in the LGBT community, particularly among men who have sex with men. Approximately one-half of all new HIV diagnoses in the state of Oklahoma, for the last two years, were co-infected with syphilis. It is estimated that one can acquire HIV up to five-times more easily, when a syphilis sore is present.<br />
Syphilis has been called “the great imitator”, that’s because the symptoms are often mistaken for other conditions. The first symptom of syphilis is a sore that happens at the site of infection, often doesn’t hurt and it goes away without treatment, but you still have syphilis. Lots of people don’t see the sore, because it’s inside the body. In the second stage of the disease, a person may have a rash on the palms of the hands or soles of the feet, rashes on their body, patchy hair loss, and again, all these go away without treatment, but the person still has syphilis. Late stages of syphilis may occur up to 20 years after infection. Untreated syphilis can result in paralysis, gradual blindness, dementia and early death. The good news is syphilis is curable. It is important a person sees a medical practitioner to treat their syphilis because the amount of antibiotic depends on how long a person has had the disease.<br />
Alcohol and drug use puts one at greater risk for getting any STD, as these may lead to riskier sexual behavior. Abstaining from sexual contact is one way to protect you from being exposed to Syphilis. Being in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship is another way to reduce your exposure to any STD. A regular syphilis screening is recommended for anyone who is at risk for acquiring an STD.  It is recommended that anyone who is sexually active receive a full STD screening at least once a year. When your doctor requests &#8220;blood work&#8221; during your regular check-up, he is not testing for any STD, unless you request it. And, if you do not have health insurance, and you feel that you are at risk, you can go to your local county health department to receive proper health care needs.<br />
For more information from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, on HIV/AIDS and syphilis within the LGBT community, scan the code shown to the left with your smart phone.<br />
For more local information, or any questions you may have about HIV/AIDS or any other STD, please email chuck@gayly.com.</p>
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		<title>Peanut Butter Piggy Poodle Treats</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/04/23/peanut-butter-piggy-poodle-treats/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=peanut-butter-piggy-poodle-treats</link>
		<comments>http://www.gayly.com/2012/04/23/peanut-butter-piggy-poodle-treats/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:53:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Gayly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Chef Scotty]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1110</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Scotty Irani Gayly Columnist I am the proud human of two fifty pound Standard Poodles. My best friends are intelligent, hysterically funny, playful, loving, and as with most boys, always hungry! Like all responsible pet owners, we want what is best for our best friends when it comes to their food and treats. In [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>By Scotty Irani</em><br />
<em>Gayly Columnist</em></p>
<div id="attachment_1111" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 214px"><a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Chef-Scotty-NEW-PHOTO.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-1111" title="Scotty Irani" src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Chef-Scotty-NEW-PHOTO-204x300.jpg" alt="Scotty Irani" width="204" height="300" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Chef Scotty grew up in Sapulpa, Oklahoma. After graduating from Oklahoma State University with a BS Hotel Restaurant Administration, he was off to Providence, Rhode Island’s Johnson &amp; Wales University for a degree in Culinary Arts. He worked all over the United States and France before moving back to Oklahoma City. Locally, Scotty consults on menus, designs and owns a Personal Chef business. He also works as a consultant for openings of restaurants in great cities including Oklahoma City, San Francisco, and the Boston area.</p></div>
<p>I am the proud human of two fifty pound Standard Poodles. My best friends are intelligent, hysterically funny, playful, loving, and as with most boys, always hungry! Like all responsible pet owners, we want what is best for our best friends when it comes to their food and treats.</p>
<p>In many cities around the nation, it is easy to find pet boutiques and bakeries specializing in homemade delicacies for the four legged amongst us. Delicious treats that would make the foodie in us all salivate like Pavlov’s dog, such as: Salmon and Rabbit flavored biscuits, Cheesy Cheddar, Garlic Asiago &amp; Herb, and even Chocolate (carob) Mint. With these fancy shmancy flavors, comes a fancy shmancy price tag.</p>
<p>Using all natural ingredients, an easy does it recipe, and around 30 minutes of your time, you can whip up gourmet treats that even the most finicky canine would love. Now, I’m not going to lie to you guys, Poodles are very intelligent. Yeah my boys like to eat, but they do not like to eat just anything.</p>
<p>In coming up with a dog treat recipe for this month’s article, I assure you it was not as easy as throwing together some unusual ingredients, and calling it FA-BU-LOUS! I experimented with almond butter, arugula, blueberries, goat cheese, rosemary, cranberries and banana. All of which was received with a “really?” look from both of my boys, and a mound of uneaten dog treats on my kitchen floor. What won out in our home? Good old Peanut-Butter and Bacon!</p>
<ul>
<li>2 Cups Stone Ground Whole Wheat Flour</li>
<li>1Tbsp. Baking Powder</li>
<li>1 Cup ALL NATURAL Peanut Butter</li>
<li>1 Cup milk</li>
<li>5 strips extra crispy bacon, chopped fine</li>
</ul>
<p>Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. I used stone ground whole wheat flour, because it has more “bite” for the pooch, and whole grain is better for us all.</p>
<p>All-purpose flour won’t give you the proper consistency. If you choose to use it, you will probably need more than two cups. In one bowl add the dry ingredients, flour and baking powder. Mix around to disburse the baking powder.</p>
<p>When adding peanut butter, I actually ground my own peanut butter at the store’s machine. No added salt or preservatives; mashed and smashed peanuts, with their natural oils. Needless to say, the peanut butter I used would be considered “chunky”. You can use prepared natural peanut butters, either chunky or smooth. Mix peanut butter and milk together until smooth, and add to flour mixture.</p>
<p>Ball up the peanut butter dough, and turn out onto a smooth surface. You’ll need to knead and roll out the dough. Sprinkle the chopped bacon in while kneading the dough. You should notice the dough seems almost dry, but the natural oil from the peanut butter keeps it satiny smooth. Roll to 1/4 inch thickness, and cut with any cookie or dough cutter you have handy.</p>
<p>On a greased cookie sheet, lay out your cut treats and bake in the oven for 18 minutes. Turn off the oven and let the cookie cool down in the oven. This allows for “drying” and crisping.</p>
<p>When cooled down, and with tails wagging, serve them up with a smile!</p>
<p>Wishing you and your best friends Much Love and Happy Eating! WOOF!</p>
<p><em><strong>If you have questions or recipe requests for Chef Scotty, please email <a href="mailto:scotty@gayly.com" target="_blank">scotty@gayly.com</a>.</strong></em></p>
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		<title>Buy Me Some Love</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/04/23/buy-me-some-love/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=buy-me-some-love</link>
		<comments>http://www.gayly.com/2012/04/23/buy-me-some-love/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:48:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Gayly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Coming Out]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1106</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Steven Michael Hall We’ve heard the saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.” It’s tells us that we should look at ourselves and how we contribute to our lives. But looking at ourselves may not be fun. “I’m just too this or not enough that. When I get there, maybe then I can care. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>By Steven Michael Hall</em></p>
<p>We’ve heard the saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.” It’s tells us that we should look at ourselves and how we contribute to our lives.</p>
<p>But looking at ourselves may not be fun. “I’m just too this or not enough that. When I get there, maybe then I can care. Or if others first cared, maybe then I would dare.”</p>
<p>Beginning to sound Seussical? Certainly the attitude is childlike.</p>
<p>So often we want someone else to buy me some love.</p>
<p>Do for me. Care for me. Don’t hurt me or desert me. I’ll throw a fit or hold my breath until I get my way. But don’t get logical, reasonable or expect me to support myself emotionally. It’s that do-for-me mind that’s all too common.</p>
<p>Perhaps some people are born as loving people. Perhaps they have taken strides, given their life a certain dedication and used skills they learned along the way. Perhaps they do what they must do to show love and self respect for themselves and others. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to love them, to be fair with them or to accept them as they are.</p>
<p>Their self-love and self-respect reflect back to them because others respond to it. If we don’t live our self-love and respect each and every day, it’s foolish to expect others to want to hang with us or give a flip about us.</p>
<p>This Golden Rule applies to our love lives, our social lives, our work lives and every step we take. I particularly like the longer version, “do unto all as you wish all would do unto you.” Keep in mind, how we treat ourselves is part of how we connect with all.</p>
<p>Lying about who we are, who we love, what rights we expect, who we support politically, what values we hold dear and such is acting outside of integrity and outside of how I see self love.</p>
<p>In short, we have to buy our own love before we can know it from others. We buy it with our daily efforts to be the whole potential we dream for our lives. So that may take creativity, visualization, research and schooling.</p>
<p>At some time we must stick our neck out and shake up our lives if what we’re living is not the prize we’ve dreamt. That goes for personal relationships, community respect, professional settings, and spiritual profiles. You name it.</p>
<p>A few rules in life apply across the board, and one is, “If you don’t like your view, move; change your seat, your point of view, your relationships and beliefs. C H A N G E. But remember, the only guarantee for change is when you apply it to yourself.</p>
<p>Coming out is a basic form of change and self-love. They’re both participatory sports.</p>
<p>So, next time you consider looking through a magazine for changes in styles, consider looking inside yourself, and buy you some love. You’re the only one who can.</p>
<p><em>Steven Michael Hall facilitates the Coming Out Workshop with Shelley McGoffin each Tuesday at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center in Tulsa. Contact Oklahomans for Equality at (918) 743-4297 for details about the program or visit <a href="http://www.okeq.org">www.okeq.org</a>.</em></p>
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		<title>Happy Spring Returns (part II)</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/04/23/happy-spring-returns-part-ii/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=happy-spring-returns-part-ii</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:35:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Gayly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Susan Penney]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1094</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Susan Penney Gayly Financial Columnist There is no doubt, 2011 was a tough and volatile year for the market. Trends in outperformance were few. Perhaps the only trend that was apparent in 2011 was the trend of volatility. During the course of 2011 the S&#38;P 500 experienced three corrections of 10% or more recovering [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>By Susan Penney</em><br />
<em>Gayly Financial Columnist</em></p>
<div id="attachment_1095" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/penney-01-color.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-1095 " title="Susan Penney" src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/penney-01-color-199x300.jpg" alt="Susan Penney" width="150" height="230" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Susan E. Penney is a Registered Investment Advisor at Westside Investment Management, LLC in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. For more information, visit www.westsideim.com or contact her directly by telephone at 405-254-5758 or by e-mail at susan@westsideim.com.</p></div>
<p>There is no doubt, 2011 was a tough and volatile year for the market. Trends in outperformance were few. Perhaps the only trend that was apparent in 2011 was the trend of volatility. During the course of 2011 the S&amp;P 500 experienced three corrections of 10% or more recovering from each and finishing 2011 virtually flat. This means that S&amp;P 500 experienced six swings of 10% or more during the year. That is quite a high number given the fact that from 2003 to 2007 the S&amp;P 500 did not see one 10% correction. History suggests that volatility like this does not persist for extended periods of time, but in the event that it does there are proactive steps that I will continue to take in order to attempt to dampen the overall volatility in your portfolio.</p>
<p>2012 has started off on a positive note, so far, and already there is evidence of emergent trends that I wanted to share with you at this time of the year. With that said, here are the market themes that are in place today.</p>
<p>Equities, particularly domestic equities, have started the year off on a positive note and come into the year as the strongest of the asset classes that I follow. Rallies in the equity market in 2011 came in fits and starts, but as we head into 2012 we are doing so with a generally positive foundation. For instance, about 58% of stocks in the market are trading in an overall positive trend, which means that a majority of stocks are trending higher in price. This does not mean we will simply throw a dart and pick stocks or sectors at random, but the weight of the evidence for this asset class is positive here.</p>
<p>One of the main positive headlines in 2011 was the record move in the price of Gold, which managed to notch an all-time high of $1,892 in 2011, providing a bright spot for the financial market. However, over the course of the past couple of months there have been some troubling signs from the yellow metal, not only in terms of absolute price, but in terms of strength versus other commodities. One of the beneficiaries within the Commodity space from the weakness seen from Gold has been Crude Oil. The price of a barrel of Oil has crossed back above the $100 level. Undoubtedly, an increase in the price Oil will translate to higher prices at the pump, but there are ways to benefit from higher Energy prices in your investment portfolio.</p>
<p>International Equities was the worst performing asset class last year, and the indicators I followed had this group falling out of favor in the fall of 2010. Over the first few weeks of 2012, though, this is an asset class that has been showing some positive signs. For instance, trends of some of the bigger countries are showing some promise as areas like China, Brazil, and even some of the European countries are moving back into positive trends. This will continue to be an area to watch closely and as the positive signs continue to mount we will begin to allocate a bigger percent of the portfolio across the pond. Times when it feels like the worst time to be buying, as is the case now with everything going on especially in Europe, often ends up being one of the better times to allocate money to that space.</p>
<address><em>This material was prepared in part by Dorsey Wright and Associates.</em></address>
<address><em>Investing in foreign securities presents certain risks not associated with domestic investments, such as currency fluctuation, political and economic instability, and different accounting standards. This may result in greater share price volatility. Investing in Emerging Markets often accentuates these risks.</em><br />
<em>Investing in precious metals allows for a source of diversification for those sophisticated persons who wish to add precious metals to their portfolios and who are prepared to assume the risks inherent in the bullion market. Any bullion or coin purchase represents a transaction in a non-income-producing commodity and is highly speculative.</em></address>
<address><em>Buying commodities allows for a source of diversification for those sophisticated persons who wish to add commodities to their portfolios and who are prepared to assume the risks inherent in the commodities market. Any purchase represents a transaction in a non-income-producing commodity and is highly speculative. Therefore, commodities should not represent a significant portion of an individual’s portfolio. Past performance is not indicative of future results and there is no assurance that any forecasts mentioned in this report will be attained. Asset allocation cannot eliminate the risk of fluctuating prices and uncertain returns.</em></address>
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		<title>Pin-Up Sexuality</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/04/23/pin-up-sexuality/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=pin-up-sexuality</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:32:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Gayly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jason Dilts]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1091</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Jason Dilts Gayly “Homo on the Range” Columnist You can’t quite pin a person’s sexuality to a wall. Sure, you can produce alluring images that reflect a sexual act. You can create art that is titillating, but you can never capture the true essence of a single person’s complex socio-sexual horizon by freezing it [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>By Jason Dilts</em><br />
<em>Gayly “Homo on the Range” Columnist</em></p>
<div id="attachment_1092" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/dilts-01.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-1092 " title="Jason Dilts" src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/dilts-01-238x300.jpg" alt="Jason Dilts" width="150" height="185" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Jason Dilts is a political activist, writer, and non-profit manager currently based in Wichita, KS. He pens a regular column, “Homo on the Range”, for Wichita’s premier arts and culuture magazine, Naked City and also writes art and cultural pieces for “The Wichita Eagle”. He is a graduate of Wichita State University, where he earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science with a minor in Sociology.</p></div>
<p>You can’t quite pin a person’s sexuality to a wall. Sure, you can produce alluring images that reflect a sexual act. You can create art that is titillating, but you can never capture the true essence of a single person’s complex socio-sexual horizon by freezing it in time.</p>
<p>There’s an element of “pin-up” sexuality that permeates the gay community, and it’s particularly perplexing here on the range. We often turn to pornography or online hook-ups to satisfy our sexual appetites because the inherent isolation that comes with being gay in a place like Kansas leaves few choices for healthier outlets. We rarely talk about it, but those of us in the LGBT community have gotten used to our sexualities being highly compartmentalized. As a result, the sexual relationships we form are frequently fragmented or underdeveloped.</p>
<p>Before I lose you hetero-readers to the “ick factor” of having to think about gay sex, let me remind you that we homos have to stomach more than our fair share of opposite-sexing. Sexual health is part of a community’s vitality, so anyone who cares about living in a wholesome world should be interested in this “pink pin-up problem”. Open your minds a bit and you’ll see this issue is more about sociology than it is sin.</p>
<p>Today, we can get off by cueing up our smart phones. Access to sexual imagery has never been easier. When you’re formulating a sense of your own sexual identity, there really is no digital Pandora’s box. There’s so much more to one’s sexuality and sexual orientation that the carnal act of sex, though. Within that truth, a tangled problem tangoes.</p>
<p>Gay people often see themselves represented for the first time in a porno. That’s a jarring statement that deserves some consideration.</p>
<p>If you are heterosexual, when did you first see another person emulate your sexual essence? If you had straight parents, it was the moment you were born. If you didn’t, I’m sure it was only a few minutes after that! We live in a heterosexual society. We’re saturated with boy-girl narratives in all elements of popular culture. Movies, books, and songs are full of opposite-sex tales. We form our identities, in part, by associating ourselves with representations of who we can become. We color our lives with the paints of others. Our sexuality is one of many elements to who we are, but what happens when there are few representations to draw from?</p>
<p>We want so desperately to know we aren’t alone; to be reassured that we aren’t the only one. That means we’ll go anywhere to find ourselves.<br />
The consequences are complex. Pornographic images produce unrealistic expectations about body image and sexual pleasure. They’re devoid of humanism, making sex a solo activity, and later sexual encounters potentially awkward. Porn is also exclusively focused on sex as a corporal act. To be truly sexual, one has to bring their whole self to their partner. Spirituality, intellect, and sociability matter to LGBT people, too.</p>
<p>It’s easy to “pin up” our sex lives, though.  There aren’t many places outside of clubs or bars to meet gay people in this town. A holistic community is still very much in formation. In the mean time, a lot of us are bumping into each other on Grindr or conversing via Craig’s List. No one teaches you how to be intimate with a person of the same-sex. Even the most supportive of parents probably don’t know how to talk to their gay kids about how to form an appropriate relationship. There’s that “ick factor” again. It’s uncomfortable, so we avoid it. Can we afford to ignore the health problems that it parallels, though? AIDS hasn’t been eliminated. People still get infected with HIV. STDs happen. Beyond the body, though, there’s the soul. We all deserve more than a social media dating app profile.</p>
<p>There are more positive LGBT representations now than ever before in the media, but what about our local community? Celebrities have marginal impact on forming our identities; it’s the people in our daily lives that make indelible imprints. Coming out is a public health issue. Don’t fool yourself into thinking a lack of gay representation will lessen the chance that your kid will be gay. We homos don’t have much choice in the matter. The choice is in how we all live our lives. If you’re straight, encourage your gay friends to talk to you about their dating life. Try to help them out if they’re alone by introducing them to new people. Check in your “inner-ick” at the door. Don’t let someone you care about compartmentalize an important aspect of his or her life.</p>
<p>Let’s start pinning up our sexuality and start owning up to the wholeness of who we are.</p>
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		<title>A Temple to Government</title>
		<link>http://www.gayly.com/2012/04/23/a-temple-to-government/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=a-temple-to-government</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:22:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Gayly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rob Howard]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gayly.com/?p=1087</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Rob Howard Gayly Political Columnist Last week it was my pleasure to visit Hoover Dam outside of Las Vegas, and to tour this engineering marvel. To get there, I drove nearly 1700 miles on Interstate Highways, over the Great Plains, and through the Rocky Mountains. The dam, and the highway system, were the largest [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>By Rob Howard</em><br />
<em>Gayly Political Columnist</em></p>
<div id="attachment_1088" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/howard-01.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-1088 " title="Rob Howard" src="http://www.gayly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/howard-01-205x300.jpg" alt="Rob Howard" width="150" height="220" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Rob Howard has, from a political standpoint, been a conservative (supported Goldwater in ’64); a liberal (supported Humphrey in ’68); an independent (supported neither party in 72); a Democrat, a moderate Republican, and most recently (since 1982), back to being a very liberal Democrat. He has been an LGBT activist since coming out in 1984, and a senior activist since 2004. Organizations he has been a board member or officer for include Prime Timers Worldwide and it’s Central Oklahoma chapter, Cimarron Alliance Foundation, DBA Metro Business Association, and the Respect Diversity Foundation.</p></div>
<p>Last week it was my pleasure to visit Hoover Dam outside of Las Vegas, and to tour this engineering marvel. To get there, I drove nearly 1700 miles on Interstate Highways, over the Great Plains, and through the Rocky Mountains. The dam, and the highway system, were the largest public works projects of their time, and were paid for by the US Government. When the far-right wing nuts in control of the Republican Party talk about less government, they should pause and think of these two gigantic public works. They are together a Temple to what government can do.</p>
<p>Hoover Dam was approved by a Republican Congress and signed into law by a Republican President. It ended generations of floods and drought across the Southwest and irrigates over a million acres of farmland; it provides the drinking water needs of 20 million people in Nevada, California, and Arizona; it generates over 4 Billion kilowatt-hours of low cost electricity a year. Taking the tour makes you wonder at the magnitude of the effort – 16,000 men over several years; construction around the clock 24/7; engineering innovations that made the project possible, and built a dam that is estimated to have a 2,000 year lifespan.</p>
<p>The Interstate highway system was passed by a Democratic Congress, under a Republican President. Today, it has 46,876 miles of high speed limited access road; about one-third of all miles driven in the US are on these highways; its estimated cost of $425 Billion makes it the most expensive public works project in history. In addition to supporting the economy by movement of goods, the system provides hundreds of thousands of jobs each year, and ensures mobility of our military when needed.</p>
<p>These are just two of the things our government provides us as citizens. Neither could have happened without the Federal Government. If you feel safe from foreign attack, it’s because we have a military. If you grew up in a rural area and had electricity for lighting and pumping water, it’s because of the Federal Rural Electrification Administration. If a teacher inspired your life, it’s because we have had a generations long dedication to government funded public schools. If you get mail six days a week, it’s because we have a national postal service, required by the constitution, and funded from its start by the government. When your grandmother gets her health care through Medicare, it’s because we have a national system of healthcare for seniors, funded by the Federal Government. And don’t forget clean water, healthy food, and safe medications. I could go on and on.</p>
<p>Where do the Federal, State and Local governments get their money? Taxes. The Tea-Party wants to do away with taxes. The Republicans in Congress, and running for President, want to reduce taxes. To do it, they want to cut government spending. Think about that for a few minutes. Which of the very few government activities listed above are you willing to live without?</p>
<p>In the past, our political parties have worked together to provide things too big to be provided any other way – dams, highways, schools, defense. Today, there is almost none of that – and we should all demand that our Senators and Representatives work together to change the toxic partisanship that is crushing our government.</p>
<p>Back to highways for a moment. On March 14, the Senate passed a Highway bill – the first since 2006 – authored by our own Senator Inhofe (one of the most conservative Senators), and Senator Barbara Boxer of California, one of the most liberal – to break the logjam in Congress and get our highway systems back up to standards; at the same time it will provide hundreds of thousands of jobs, 45,000 here in Oklahoma alone, according to Sen. Inhofe. I salute Sen. Inhofe for his efforts on this. Those who know me will be astounded.</p>
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