Maggie Gooch with her good friend. Both support the rights of LGBT people.

It is painfully obvious that gays are discriminated against for simply loving the person they happen to love. Whether a gay, lesbian or transgender person is in public with their life partner or just going on a date, it is forbidden that couple hold hands or show any other public display of affection, particularly in this region of the United States.

“What troubles me about people who are angry about LGBT people or with same gender marriage is that it just causes the young gay or lesbian student who hears that to feel shame and guilt,” said Toby Jenkins, the Executive Director of Oklahomans for Equality in Tulsa. “Living in the shadow of such shame will make them feel like they will never find someone to love.”

Courtney Breshears, also of Tulsa said, “I feel like I’m not equal in this region unless I’m in a gay club or a gay event.” Breshears has been on both sides, having first been married to a man before she came out at the age of 24.

“No one ever looked at my husband and me for holding hands or any other public displays of affection. Since I have been with my partner, unless I’m in the privacy of our own home, backyard or at a close friend’s house, we do have to hide any affection in public. I wish that this region was friendlier toward gay couples.”

We did find some of our straight allies willing to not only speak out for gay rights and gay marriage, but willing to go on record as such.

“Why should gay people be judged for who they love? Straight people don’t get judged for whom they love, so why should gays?” said Maggie Gooch of Oklahoma City. “Gay people are humans too! Who are we to tell them who they can and can’t love, marry and have a family with.”

Gooch is 20 years old and co-owner of “Chasin’ Tail, a pet store in Oklahoma City who concluded by saying, “They (gays) deserve to live a happy, normal life without anyone to judge them for who they are or who they love.”

More allies are Dianna Harris and her youngest son Max. Harris told Max when he was 12 years old that he had a gay brother, to which he replied, “That doesn’t matter mom. He’s still my brother!” Harris is owner of Bad Grannies Bazaar.

Ironically, both allies we found to speak out both have businesses on OKC’s Plaza District; the very place where Randy Roberts Potts, “Gay Agenda,” will make its Oklahoma premier.

To sum it up, we see times are changing. Partly because of great LGBT leaders and organizations who have led the way to such change. We do also see more allies standing up for the rights of the LGBT community.

If anyone you know is feeling lonely or discriminated against, there are groups who are always there to help: The Trevor Project, Cimmaron Alliance, Oklahomans for Equality, The Equality Network, The Kansas Equality Coalition and many more. Just reach out and you will find people just like you.

Charlene Fifer (l) and Courtney Breshears (r) of Tulsa. Courtney said she wished she could be more open in public and Charlene said she never had to actually come out to her family because she was with someone and they figured it out.

Millions of children in the United States have lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT)  parents. Some children of LGBT parents were conceived in heterosexual marriages or relationships. An increasing number of LGBT parents have conceived children and/or raised them from birth, either as single parents or in ongoing committed relationships. This can occur through adoption, alternative insemination, and surrogate or foster parenting. A small number of states currently have laws supportive of LGBT couple adoption.

What effect does having LGBT parents have on children?
Sometimes people are concerned that children being raised by a gay parent will need extra emotional support or face unique social stressors. Current research shows that children with gay and lesbian parents do not differ from children with heterosexual parents in their emotional development or in their relationships with peers and adults. It is important for parents to understand that it is the the quality of the parent/child relationship and not the parent’s sexual orientation that has an effect on a child’s development. Research has shown that in contrast to common beliefs, children of lesbian, gay, or transgender parents:

• Are not more likely to be gay than children with heterosexual parents.
• Are not more likely to be sexually abused.
• Do not show differences in whether they think of themselves as male or female (gender identity).
• Do not show differences in their male and female behaviors (gender role behavior).

Raising children in a LGBT household
Although research shows that children with gay and lesbian parents are as well-adjusted as children with heterosexual parents, they can face some additional challenges. Some LGBT families face discrimination in their communities and children may be teased or bullied by peers. Parents can help their children cope with these pressures in the following ways:

• Prepare your child to handle questions and comments about their background or family.
• Allow for open communication and discussions appropriate to your child’s age and level of maturity. *Help your child come up with and practice appropriate responses to teasing or mean remarks.
• Use books, Web sites and movies that show children in LGBT families.
• Consider having a support network for your child (For example, having your child meet other children with gay parents.)
• Consider living in a community where diversity is more accepted.

Like all children, most children with LGBT parents will have both good and bad times. They are not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to develop emotional or behavioral problems. If LGBT parents have questions or concerns about their child, they should consider a consultation with a qualified mental health professional.

For more information, visit www.aacap.org and search, “Facts for Families.”