The stigma of being bi

Today, September 23, is the 18th annual Celebrate Bisexuality Day.

by Sarah Boone

“You’re confused.”

I know this may sound hard to believe, but I am attracted to people of both sexes. No, I’m not confused; I’m a real, living, breathing bisexual.

While we make up the “B” in the LGBT, people – including the LGBT community - sometimes like to pretend that our sexuality is a joke.

I remember the first time I ever accepted that I had a crush on a girl. I was in the 7th grade. I was afraid of admitting it to my peers because I didn’t want to get teased about being a lesbian; plus, I was raised to believe that was wrong. After all, at that point, I didn’t really know that I could like both males and females.

Moving on to high school, the word bisexual was tossed around because people were exploring their sexuality. I have no problem at all with people finding their sexual identity, but I do think this attributes to why so many people can think that we, bisexuals, are a hoax.

“Wait, so you like girls, but you’ve never been with a girl?”

This is what I hear almost every time somebody finds out I’m bi and haven’t been with a woman; and yes, it’s unfortunately true. I have only dated cisgender men and I have never actually kissed a woman romantically. I have been interested in women, and they have been interested in me, but I was always too afraid of what other people would think to act on it. By the way, sorry to any ladies I led on. In the words of a true douchebag, “It wasn’t you, it was me.”

People tend to think that bisexuals (especially bisexual women) are either exploring their identity, lustful, or, as I’ve previously mentioned, confused.

I cannot tell you how many of the previous men I’ve dated have tried to talk me into having a threesome. Listen, I get that you think girl-on-girl action is “so hot,” but I’m not – bisexuals are not – this sex-fueled machine that thrives on sleeping with everybody regardless of what’s in their pants.

Some bisexual people, however, are involved in open relationships. I think that’s great for them, but it isn’t for me or every other bisexual. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you have to be or should be polyamorous. Being bisexual can mean that you can love both cis men and cis women with as many partners as you want – with consent, of course.

I’m currently in a relationship with a cis man and sometimes I feel reluctant to tell his friends or associates that I’m bisexual. For some reason, I feel like their minds already have so many questions pop up about our sex life, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable.

However, my favorite thing about being bisexual and ‘out’ is the feeling of finally being free and true to myself. I recently came out to my mom and then to my friends on Facebook (which is how you know it’s official, right?).

I received so many loving comments and messages from people, but I remember one person commented on my Facebook post and said, “Join the masses.” That definitely didn’t sit well with me. Regardless, all of the positivity I received outweighed that odd comment and, most importantly, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Despite the stigma that goes with being bisexual, nothing can change that about me. I am who I am and I’m definitely not going through a phase.

My name is Sarah, I’m a college student, I’m a Sagittarius, I am a proud bisexual and I am not confused.

Copyright 2016 The Gayly – September 23, 2016@ 7:50 a.m.