Love, lust or passion, safe sex required

Ah, February. This is the month when chubby little cherubs flit around shooting arrows of love and passion (or lust, as the case may be) into the hearts and nether regions of people everywhere. We all just want to love and be loved. 

That said, a night of romance doesn’t have to turn into a morning of regret.  

Some of you may prefer serendipity to advance planning, but with the potential perils of HIV, herpes, and other permanent infections lurking in the shadows, some planning is required if you want to have a safe and passionate night. If you and/or your potential partner are HIV+, it is important to stay as healthy as possible by taking your medications as prescribed, by working with your doctor, and by exercising and eating nutritious foods. 

If your plans involve finding someone new and interesting to share in your evening of passion, have an honest conversation about expectations and HIV status.

Even if pain is your pleasure, intentionally infecting someone or allowing the other person to infect you is foolish. Life is for living, and even if you are HIV+ or are living with AIDS, you can live a long and happy life. If you fall into a high risk group for contracting HIV, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that you speak with your doctor about beginning pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP. This is a daily pill that you take in addition to using safer sex practices and other HIV prevention methods. If you enjoy the freedom of having multiple sex partners, PrEP may be one more tool that you can use to stay safe.

Now that you’ve identified who will share your time and you’ve communicated with each other, it’s time to plan your passion. Of course, any safer-sex experience will involve lots of condoms (or maybe a few dental dams). Get freaky with the colors and textures and flavors! Think of condoms as a must-have accessory. If you wouldn’t leave home without your wallet, jewelry, or, in some cases, your lipstick, then don’t leave home without your condoms. 

Remember that new and old relationships are better with some spice. Don’t be afraid to experiment and change things up, especially if you’ve been with someone for a while and have fallen into a routine. Romance each other. Flirt. Be playful and out of control. Keep in mind that the journey is often more fun than the destination, so slow things down and play…a lot. Before, during, and after sex, play can make everything more fun and interesting.

by Mary Turner, Gayly Columnist

The Gayly – February 14, 2014 @ 2:00pm