Asexuality is a real thing

by Mary Turner
HIV/AIDS Medical Columnist

Asexual people are not “just prudes.” It doesn't mean the person has a problem, never engages in sexual activity, or is not attracted to people in other ways. It simply means that sexual attraction is not there.

Asexual Awareness Week takes place this year October 21 through October 27. The purpose of this week is to help spread awareness of asexuality, so please pay attention and listen-up during that week.

Asexuality, or “Ace,” is characterized as a person who has no sexual feelings or desires. There has not been a lot of research conducted on this topic. It is often assumed people who don’t feel sexual desire are sexually dysfunctional.

Psychologically, a dysfunction refers to something that causes mental distress or anguish to the person experiencing the dysfunction.

Certainly, some individuals want to engage in and enjoy sex but can’t because of physical and/or emotional issues. That’s different.

People who identify as being asexual don’t feel distressed because they are not sexually active. However, they often feel distressed when the people around them don’t understand or acknowledge their feelings and attempt to “make them normal” by verbally or physically trying to push them to have sex.

Persons who are asexual comprise about one percent of the population. They feel attraction to other people and may identify as straight, gay, bisexual, or any of the other categories people may be placed based on orientation.

Just like everyone else, they want friendship. They may enjoy close, intimate relationships with people in non-sexual ways. They may even have sex and experience orgasms.

Although one recent study of college students who identified themselves as asexual on a survey, 6.6 percent of them reported they had a diagnosis of PTSD and 3.5 percent reported having a history of sexual trauma in the twelve months before the study.

Of the remaining 33,157 students who participated in the study and did not identify as asexual, 1.9 percent reported having a diagnosis of PTSD and 2.4 percent reported having experienced sexual trauma in the previous twelve months.

There is a tendency for people to try and interpret data such as these as causal, but we really can only conclude there is a relationship between the diagnosis and trauma and the self-identification of asexual.

It is more likely the PTSD and traumatic events stem from the self-identification of being asexual than the other way around.

Whether well-meaning or mean, most people assume everyone wants sex.

Asexual Awareness Week is an international campaign which seeks to educate about asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and grey-asexual experiences and to create materials that are accessible to our community and our allies around the world. (For more information, visit asexualawarenessweek.com.)

AVEN (the Asexual and Visibility Network) hosts the largest online asexuality community in the world. The site encourages open, honest dialogue between persons who identify as asexual and those who do not.

Just as I encourage those who are sexual and enjoy being sexual to live their lives (safely), I encourage those of you who may not be to live your lives and enjoy being who you are.

Love and peace.

Copyright The Gayly. 10/23/2018 @ 12:03 p.m. CST.