Does black and bi mean bye-bye?

by Mahkesha Hogg
Black LGBT+ Issues Columnist

Imagine being black and finally having the courage to come out as bisexual and want to start dating.

Then you find out that some in your black community don’t want to date you because of some of the stereotypes surrounding bisexuality.

I have spoken to a few bisexual black friends of both genders about this. I have gotten feedback on what it is like to be bi and black. 

In our society being black is tough enough.

Add being LGBT+, which is harder, but then to find out people within your LGBT+ community have issues with dating you because they don’t know if you will suddenly turn straight or will cheat.

I have spoken to other bi people of all ethnicities, and they experience the same, but if you are black and are attracted to black people, there’s a smaller pool from which to choose.

It drastically affects you. 

My black lesbian friend said she prefers to date black lesbians because she doesn’t trust bisexual women.

I asked her why and she said because “they always cheat with men.”
I told her that just because someone is attracted to both sexes, it does not mean that they cannot be loyal.

I also asked my straight black male friend if he would date a bisexual black woman and he said yes but only if she would promise not to want to be with another man.

I have known these people for a few years and thought them to be open-minded.

I was shocked at their responses, especially the lesbian because she knows what it feels like to be discriminated against and negatively stereotyped.

As I was thinking about what to write to honor Bisexuality Week, the universe dropped this into my world.

A bisexual male friend of mine who is African-American posted on Facebook: “One of the tricky things about being black and bisexual is it seems that half of straight black folks (maybe more) think that with Hollywood featuring more LGBTQ black men in predominant roles and other media offering more LGBT narratives, it’s a conspiracy to “emasculate black men.

“By further ostracizing us you are essentially telling us to stay ‘discreet’ which is not mentally or physically healthy for our communities. Check yourself.”

Bisexual people simply are attracted to both men and women and can be loyal. I know many bisexual people who have had successful, faithful relationships with both genders.

Just because they will always be attracted to both sexes, we can’t let stereotypes define the happiness that could await us.

If you like someone and you give it a chance even if you have had bad experiences with someone who is bi. You would not want someone to paint you with a brush and be closed off to getting to know you.

I think bisexual people have the best of both worlds.
You could be a part of that world.

Copyright The Gayly. 9/16/2018 @ 9:16 a.m. CST.