The LGBT+ community accepts everyone; except fat people

Marty Dennis of Kansas City, Jordan Redman of Norman and Nathan Peck of Oklahoma City. Photos provided.

by Jordan Redman

Close your eyes and picture a gay bar. Look to your left, look to your right, who do you see? You see a plethora of different people. People of different colors, sexual orientations, genders, religions, shapes and sizes.

The LGBT+ community should be a place of acceptance for everyone...until it comes to the “No Fat No Femme” culture. Whether it’s written on a Grindr profile or screamed in a bar, the stigma of “No Fat No Femme” has far-reaching effects beyond the dating scene.

It’s dehumanizing. It’s humiliating.

Everyone has a type. I’m not here to shame anyone for preferring one body type to another.

Who I am here to shame are those within the community who alienate and chastise overweight people as if they have no flaws themselves.

The average weight for an American male is approximately 195.7 pounds, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The average height being around 5’8”. The average weight and height for an American woman are 168.5 pounds and 5’3” inches tall.

The CDC reports that 70.7 percent of adults aged 20 and over are overweight or obese.

In the simplest terms, if you’re overweight, you’re average.

Nathan Peck, Oklahoma City local, said being overweight “is the American way.”

He said, “I find that there are those [within the LGBT+ community] who only want younger, thinner…but I’ve not been bullied [about my size]. It’s the opposite; they don’t even notice you period.”

As someone who has been overweight my entire life, I still come from a place of privilege even amongst fat people. I fit into the category of fat women with a large bust size and pretty face. These characteristics somehow make my fatness more acceptable in the eyes of society.

I’ve grown fond of my size. However, I will stress there is a constant concern for my health that peeks through my desire for body positive thinking.

I know my lifestyle isn’t healthy. I drink too much soda, and I don’t drag myself to the gym as often as I could. However, I do know that things could be much, much worse.

I don’t let being fat define who I am. I don’t think others should either.

Being physically healthy is important, but so is being mentally healthy. 

There was a point in time when I wouldn’t wear shorts in public. I wouldn’t allow any photos of me on social media that weren’t just of my face. I’d sit in front of the mirror wondering if I’d ever like what I see.

When I accepted my body; I mean really accepted it, I found myself in a much better place. Shopping became enjoyable. My summer wardrobe was no longer the enemy.

Acceptance is important. Acceptance of self and acceptance from peers.

Marty Dennis from Kansas City said he changed his physical appearance for himself, no one else. “I did not change to make others happy; I changed because I want to be happy and live longer.”

The LGBT+ culture needs to be more accepting of fat people.

We must demand acceptance from society; we shouldn’t have to demand acceptance within our community.

I feel the “No Fat No Femme” culture has no place within the LGBT+ community.

We should be grateful for our differences and appreciate everyone of different colors, sexual orientations, genders, religions, shapes and sizes.

Copyright The Gayly 3/5/2018 @8:13 a.m. CST.