The queer kid’s guide to starting college
by Emma Rose Kraus
Journalism intern
If you’ve been to a department store lately you know what time of year it is. From the low-cost twin-bedding to the sales for shower caddies, trapper keepers and tablets, it’s clear that it’s time for all the young college freshmen to begin making the most important decisions of their higher education career.
Should college algebra have a red or blue notebook? Would pastels or neon’s make a better dorm room color palette? And, most importantly, to buy or not to buy the rainbow flag beach towel?
Perhaps you just came out or kinda plan to come out. Maybe you’re out to some people and not to others (yet!). No matter your situation, incoming sexual minority students, this is an article for you.
The first thing to know is to always, always, always identify your sexuality on your roommate assignment form as something you want your roommate to be comfortable with. I know that seems scary, but if your randomly assigned dorm cohabiter is a hater (or opposes “the gay”), you won’t be comfortable being out later on, let alone if you want to stay in the closet in the beginning.
To further convince you, most of the time same-sex (genders often yet-to-be-determined) roommates will be totally cool with sexuality. I mean, it’s college. Basically everyone will question their orientation during the next four (more-or-less) years.
Another tip, you don’t have to join the GSA, SJC, LGBT+A, or LGBTQ Support Group if you don’t want to. You should go to one meeting, but if you find they aren’t very politically or socially active or you’re not the biggest fan of the other gays, you don’t have to hang out with them or go to their meetings.
This brings me to friends: be friends with who you want to be friends with. Don’t just hang out with people because they’re also LGBT+ or part of your major. Spend time with the people who support you and make you feel like your best self, even when you’re not having your best days.
These are the friends who will have your back and you will feel awesome to be able to support them back. They’ll listen to your joy and pain and drag you to the school counselor or a trusted advisor when they can tell you need more help than they can give. Also remember how important it is to take care of your mental health as an LGBT+ person. Self-care is a big deal.
Self-care also comes in the form of anxiety over coming out and labels. I cannot stress this as an LGBT+ person who has loudly come out as bi, then pan, then gay, then . . . idk, a “five”, I think? Labels aren’t necessary.If they make you feel #Pride, cool beans! Use them all you want. If you’re just using them to placate your family or friends, it’s not worth it. Labels are so subjective and sexuality is fluid, so just do you, boo-boo.
Finally, it’s so important for you to be your own friend too. I know you’re gonna drink and party. Just don’t do it every day, or even every week, or when you’re alone, or sad, or angry or when your kinda girlfriend just told you she’s leaving you for her ex-boyfriend who lives 45 minutes away. Addiction is more likely in LGBT+ people and many of these issues develop in young adulthood. So please be careful.
I’ll end with the words my associate professor and advisor commented when I posted a picture on my Facebook page with a good friend on his 21st in “high spirits” - *hint hint*: “Be happy. Be safe!”
Copyright 2017 The Gayly – August 2, 2017 @ 7:50 a.m. CDT.