Our Declaration of Independence

By Mahkesha Hogg

LGBT+ Black Issues Columnist

Are black LGBT+ people free if they are constantly worrying about getting acceptance from their straight counterparts? To be truly independent means you are free of feeling like you must justify your existence.

It’s okay to plead your case but learn to let it go if nothing is getting through to them. Obsessing over being accepted can lead to paranoia, self-doubt, and your energy is spent on someone who does not have the best intentions for you.

In honor of Independence Day or “4th of July,” I’m giving my version of the National Anthem.

“Oh, say can you see the hat---errs spite. They are jealous of your truth and don’t know when to shut up.
      Whose fierce ways and bright smiles always drown out the frowns. And they will gossip and stare. But you
      shouldn’t care. Gave proof through pride that our moxie’s still there. Oh, say does that L-G-B-T-Q-P-2-I-A.
      For the land of the free and let independence stay!”

Some of you might say this article is a bummer. “Mahkesha, why don’t you say something positive about and sprinkle glitter on it?”

For every “screw those who don’t except you” story there’s an “aww that gives me hope” one. While I was coming up with the concept of this month’s article, I came across a YouTube video of a young black man and his black affirming mom, and it gave me all the feels.

The young man named Mac (a famous YouTuber) was reminiscing about what his coming out was like and how his mom already knew from utero that her son was going to be gay. She said when she was pregnant with him she would have recurring dreams of seeing two men together (in a non-sexual manner).

She said the hardest part of his coming out was waiting because she wanted it to be on his terms, but she was so eager to tell him that she knew, and it was okay! It was so refreshing to see a positive affirmation story, and I hope that it inspires other black parents and their children to make videos of them coming out.  

Now back to the message at hand. If your family or friends do not affirm your fabulosity then you know there’s a chosen family waiting for you just around the corner. Sometimes we chose our family.  
For those who do, I declare freedom from bigotry. I declare freedom from the stress! I declare freedom from trying to live up to their expectations. I declare freedom of guilt. I declare freedom from caring what others think. I declare freedom you will find a partner. It’s all mental torture, and you deserve serenity.

Now all of you, declare your independence!

Copyright The Gayly 7/4/2018 @ 1:00 a.m. CST.