How to avoid holiday drama

From an unresolved argument with a relative, to the great aunt who always asks when you’re getting married, having a baby, or going “straight,” for those LGBTQ+ people!

This time of year, when different sides of the family get together, it can be two things at once: joyous, but also a bit nerve-wracking. In today’s Health Minute, Mandy Gaither talks to a clinical psychologist about how to avoid holiday drama this year.

“We’re living in incredibly stressful times, and family dynamics are not immune to that,” said Adam Borland, Clinical Psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic.

It’s a time for family to be together and to spread good cheer. But you can love someone and also butt heads.

“Holidays can be wonderful, but can also bring a tremendous amount of potential stress, anxiety, and fear of falling back into old habits.”

Borland said there can be differing views, divisions across the political or social spectrum, and, you know, that annoying relative.

Even when it’s cold outside, all those mixed feelings can leave things a little heated.

“It’s important to go in with a toolbox in terms of how to manage these potential situations,” Borland said. “I think you wanna first off begin by planning and deciding which topics are off limits.

That may require maintaining boundaries and displaying assertiveness, so be prepared.

“Remember, you can’t control the behaviors of other family members, only your responses to certain situations.

He reminds us to be aware of our triggers and that it’s OK to demand a subject change. And that we can always choose not to spend holiday time with family who upset us.  

“I can do my best, and if things get to a point where I don’t feel comfortable, it’s OK to walk away as well,” he said. “Buddy up with a relative who’s more level-headed or calming if need be—someone who will allow you to enjoy your holiday.

“Let’s focus on the good things rather than, you know, that family member that you know, knows how to press your buttons and really focus on why we’re all together.”

Borland says it’s also essential to focus on empathy -- he says we might think a family member is being difficult because that’s who they are, but we may not know what they’re going through, so he says to put yourself in their shoes.

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The Gayly online. 12/25/25 @ 12:34 p.m. CST.