Pay attention to the opportunities that teach you self-love and self-respect
- by Robin Dorner
Editor in Chief
For several weeks before we begin production on each issue, sometimes longer, I think about what I envision for the upcoming front page. It’s the February issue, and I think most people think about dating, candy, flowers, marriage, or love on Valentine’s Day.
All those things are great, that is, if you are in a relationship. I recognize that many people aren’t dating or have a partner, so I didn’t want to focus on relationships. Further, some people identify as “Aromantic,” meaning they experience little to no romantic attraction but can still have fulfilling relationships.
Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is February 15-21 in 2026. It is a week to promote information and awareness about aromantic spectrum identities and the issues they face.
And then I found the quote, “Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it’s sanity.” I knew the topic of self-love would be the direction of much of our editorial coverage.
If you want to do good things in the world, start by being a fan of yourself. I learned this years ago through a lot of therapy and a 12-step program that has been a lifesaver. I came from a childhood of abuse and neglect, so I know it is hard to pull yourself out of feeling undeserving and that your needs don’t matter.
I find that, rather than vanity or the “I’m so awesome” attitude, self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual (not religious) growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others (definition from the Brain and Behavioral Health Center).
Self-love does not mean we don’t care about anyone else; it means we prioritize our well-being over others’ needs. One thing that comes to mind in my life is that I do a lot of volunteer work. But before I set out to volunteer, I make sure I am mentally in a good place and have taken care of myself, my business, my work, and my needs first. This self-care does not make me selfish or vain; it makes me better able to help others.
It makes me very happy to help others, even when it does not put me in the spotlight. As a volunteer, I have managed a humanitarian medical program. I had done a lot of work alone, but when I needed others to help, that’s when I would post it on social media. But that is where I recognized those who helped, not myself. I find that when I’ve practiced self-love and care, helping others helps me get out of myself and focus on another person. I find that to be a gift I give myself.
Every day, our self-care and self-love are indeed vital. Pay attention to the opportunities that teach you self-love and self-respect. I find it’s a great idea to write in a journal each day to better appreciate these opportunities.
It was the turning point of my life when I learned to say no to what was not best for me and to start embracing what was good for me. When you learn to love your authentic self and nurture your mind, body, and soul, you learn to live life to the fullest.
The Gayly online. 2/14/26 @ 1:00 p.m. CST.