Joy and safety are never accidents

 - by Brian Weir
   OpEd

When they occur at the same time, joy and safety are never accidents. They emerge from the way people treat each other and from the ease with which a community moves through a space.

Over two recent evenings at The Hollywood, what stood out to me wasn’t tension or controversy but something much simpler and more telling: people expressing joy without hesitation.

There have been plenty of rumors circulating about the place, but what I saw was something much more grounded. The crowd was diverse in a way that felt completely normal for Oklahoma City’s queer community. African Americans, Latinos, Arab Americans, Native Americans, men, women, and trans men and women shared the same space with a comfort that didn’t need explanation. People were talking, laughing, catching up, dancing, listening to each other, and singing — a couple of times, it was even on‑key — and generally treating the venue the way people treat a place they trust.

I walked in expecting to feel like a random new customer, but the staff greeted me like a neighbor — they recognized me from walking my dog past the building every day. I never imagined going to karaoke and having the whole bar offer to sing with me if I were self-conscious. I’m not shy about saying when something doesn’t feel right, or when I feel a lack of safety or acceptance. Those things just were not my experience at this local establishment.

None of this can be faked. It only happens when a place has built into its DNA the freedom for everyone to be themselves. During my visits, I felt our core community values — inclusivity and acceptance — in the way people treated one another.

Safety is not something we declare for others; it’s something we observe in how people behave toward one another. And what I observed were people who felt comfortable enough to relax, to welcome newcomers, and to express joy without self‑consciousness. That kind of ease doesn’t happen in a space people don’t trust.

In a moment when our neighborhood is recalibrating around our shared norms in the face of adversity, it’s worth noticing the places where people are still gathering, still connecting, still choosing joy. When people from many backgrounds independently treat a place as safe enough to be themselves and welcome newcomers, we can take them at their word. All of us are better off for it.

The Gayly online. 5/6/2026 @ 4:21 p.m. CST.