The stress of living with conservative relatives

 - by Sylva Johnson
   Gayly Intern

Hello, readers of The Gayly. Happy Pride Month! My name is Sylva. I use they/them pronouns and am pansexual. I am also in college, and I’m doing an internship with The Gayly.

Some colleges and schools are closing for their spring semester or for the year. My college (the University of Science and Arts in Chickasha) is closed for a brief period during the spring semester.

There are probably some of us who are either still in the closet or out of the closet and are living with parents or relatives who do not respect people within the LGBTQIA+ community. Living with those relatives who do not respect the LGBTQIA+ community can be difficult, and a bit of a challenge when you are out in public with them. However, when you are away from those relatives, it is a bit easier.

When you are away from relatives who are either against or ignorant of many things related to the LGBTQIA+ community, you can easily focus on learning more not only about the community but also about other things that interest you or are part of your job or school life. Whereas, when you live with them, it can sometimes be a little difficult to separate yourself from them, especially if you are living in the same space as these relatives. The way that I have felt with and without these relatives is majorly different.

When I’m away from my conservative relatives, I feel like I can fully express who I am and find people who understand a lot of the issues of being nonbinary and pan. Being away from my conservative relatives feels a lot more freeing.

However, I also feel like I can explore several different things that my relatives would not really understand or support. So, when I do explore those things, I do so when I am mostly on my own and not having to deal with their need to tell me what to do. I am far happier when I am away from conservative relatives. However, when I am with them, it is a very different story.

When I am with my conservative family members, I feel a lot more pressure from them. One family member doesn’t understand my perspective on the world. A lot of the time, they try to tell me how to be or what to say. It can feel frustrating and makes me feel like the way that I am is wrong.

However, I know that the way I am is more than alright. Authentically, this is how I am, regardless of what my family may think of me. I have friends and some family members who understand that this is who I am, regardless of what they may think. There are some ways that I have been able to keep myself happy regardless of being in the same space as these family members.

A lot of the time, when you are living with family members who are not understanding of who you are, you will have to take time mostly on your own. I can be myself when I’m not in the same space as them.

So, when I am in my own space, I feel much more at ease than when I am around them. I’m sure there are several of you who are also living with either conservative relatives or family members who do not share the same views as you. A couple of tips I can give you are to find people who either like you or understand and respect you.

I hope that during this Pride Month, those of you who are still in the closet and those who are out of the closet are safe. Have a great Pride Month!

The Gayly online. 6/22/26 @ 1:08 p.m. CST.