We create families by choice

by Mary Turner
HIV/AIDS Health Columnist

Oh, December - a time of good cheer! Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire, and Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Sleigh rides and silver bells, Hallmark made-for-TV-movies and Norman Rockwell family gatherings…whoa! Maybe this is what December brings to mind for many people, but probably not for those who have been rejected and put out by their families because they are gender non-conforming.

Various theorists have attempted to measure the impact that this social rejection and isolation has on us. By nature, humans live in social groups because these groups provide us with safety and an emotional sense of belonging. As a part of our identity formation, we develop over time personal definitions of who we are, what we like and dislike, and personal attractions and preferences.

Being ostracized from these groups negatively affects our self-image and personal identity. Over time, this negative sense of self can lead us to cause harm to ourselves, including suicide attempts and completions. Couple this emotional turmoil with the harshness of winters in this area and the damage can increase exponentially.

Whether or not you are homeless, housing unstable, or have your own home, if you feel sad and depressed during the winter months, reach out to agencies in the metro that can help you get your needs met. This can be very difficult, but it is truly worth the effort. If you are able, find ways to donate time and money to others who are less fortunate. The economy is harsh, so people will be delighted to have clothing that you no longer want or need.

With colder weather moving in, people need blankets, socks, and warm outerwear. There is always a need for feminine hygiene products, and our strapped-for-cash nonprofit agencies will be grateful for any monetary donations they can get. Remember that the very act of spending time with others and helping to improve their lives can brighten your spirits and make things feel better for you, too.

Even if you could eat alone at home, volunteer at and participate in community meal opportunities. Finding people who love and appreciate you regardless of your sexual orientation or other attributes can help you create the loving family that you might be missing. We are born related to people by happenstance. We create families by choice. Peace and love.

The Gayly - 12/13/2015 @ 1:43 p.m. CST