How about some respect?

by Jessica Hicks
Gayly Columnist

Happy LGBT History month...there certainly is a lot of history within our tight knit community.

The first recorded transgender in history was Joseph Lodbell born in 1829 as Lucy Ann Lobdell; she lived as a man for sixty years.

But I want to touch on something else: the whole “LGBT” label. I hate using labels but that’s all that society knows. Sometimes I think that we are split into three groups; the “LG” group, the “B” group and the “T” group. I mean “lesbians” and “gays” are interested in the same sex, and “bi’s” are neither gay nor straight because they are interested in both sexes. “Transgenders” are either lesbians, or gays; and in some cases “bi”, which makes it difficult sometimes for trans-people to find partners.

So where do trans-people go to meet that so-called perfect mate? I personally have been to many different clubs; even though I don’t care for the “club” life, just to see what kind of response I would get from different people. I have even gone to “straight” areas and I have mixed emotions about that also because I have found that many genetic males see us as a “fantasy” and all they want is to experience what it’s like to be with a male, but at the same time still be with a female. Women are guilty of the same but for the opposite reasons...confusing huh? It is for me too. And many trans-females such as myself, would feel more comfortable with another trans-person because we understand what each other is going through and we have a special bond.

But I want to focus on the male and female clubs for a minute. I have noticed and have heard from other trans-females that when they go to these clubs they are automatically pinned as either a “cross-dresser” or a “drag queen.” It has happened to me too and some of it is because I am tall. But there are many genetically born women that are over six feet tall, so don’t judge.

I have also heard stories of genetic born females going into the male clubs and have experienced the same treatment as well, so I want to clear the air here. I get very offended when I go into a club just to hang out with my friends and I’m treated like a drag queen. I am a transsexual female. I have had surgery done and I have been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) going on two years.

Furthermore, others in my shoes don’t like it either and that also goes for the ones that haven’t started any HRT or surgeries. So when you come across someone like us, don’t use your stereotypes. Take a long, hard look, use some respect, and address us for who we are, not for what you think you see. And that goes for the straight community as well.

So in closing, how about some respect?

October 23, 2013