Missing for one year
by Robin Dorner
Editor in Chief
When someone you love disappears, there isn’t just one feeling; it’s a rollercoaster of emotions. This rollercoaster is something the Aubrey Dameron family has experienced every day for the last year.
Dameron proudly identified as an Indigenous transgender woman.
On March 9, 2019, Dameron walked out the front door of her mother’s home in Grove, Oklahoma, at about 3:30 a.m. She has not been seen or heard from since that day, but her family reported she was always on social media.
“At first, your mind goes to the worst places, then a tip comes through, and you grasp onto that piece of hope with everything in you,” said Christian Fencer, Dameron’s uncle. “When it falls through, your whole world crumbles all over again.”
Fencer said the family still feels sadness, depression, survivors’ guilt, hopelessness and anxiety.
“People say, ‘You’re so strong and brave,’” said Fencer. “She’s our family. Any family would go to these lengths and beyond if they were given the resources and faced with this trauma.”
Aubrey’s family has done much outreach to get the word out about her being missing.
“In the last year, we have raised awareness for Aubrey’s disappearance in every aspect we have been given,” Fencer said. “We circulate flyers throughout Grove, Oklahoma, hanging a new one up every few months to ensure her presence is still there, and we have spoken in open spaces about Aubrey.”
They have spoken to groups like Missing & Murdered Indigenous People, LGBTQ2’s, to Democratic areas, as well as numerous TV stations, newspapers, magazines, film crews, Facebook groups and more.
“We continue to share her story regularly through our ‘Missing-Aubrey Dameron from Grove Oklahoma’ page,” he said. “We follow-up on leads we are given, whether it requires probing questions or an entire search team. We have partnered with search teams from North Dakota, Arkansas, Louisiana and here within Oklahoma. Our search hasn’t stopped. We continue to search for Aubrey.”
Fencer says there has been no communication with Dameron’s family by the Delaware County Sherriff’s Department.
“Because everyone is a ‘person of interest.’ They haven’t even bothered to clear anyone, and they have sat on leads.”
He said if it weren’t for individuals reporting tips directly to the family, they wouldn’t be investigated.
“Delaware County Captain has informed his officers to reach out to him for anything involving Aubrey, but when we needed him to assist with a recovered object, he was not responding,” Fencer said.
“Aubrey’s investigation has led us to heavily wooded areas, abandoned areas and near a few lakes. We have turned in multiple items that may have been associated with Aubrey’s disappearance. However, we never receive a response.”
He said there was a jacket found on what appeared to be a shallow grave. They were able to get results back on that jacket within a few weeks, but there were other objects county officials have obtained, but have not reported information to the family.
“When we ask about them, we are informed they haven’t received a response,” Fencer reported. “Sadly, OSBI (Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation) and the Cherokee Marshals must be invited in and can only assist in the investigation.”
Fencer said the Delaware County Captain had informed his officers to reach out to him for anything involving Aubrey, but when they needed him to assist with a recovered object, he was again not responding.
“He won’t work the case, but he doesn’t want anyone else working the case either,” Fencer added. “He is quick to do interviews and proudly boast that it’s, ‘due to her high-risk lifestyle,’ and they misgender her publicly, but he won’t take the time actually work the case.”
But the Delaware County Sheriff’s office Captain tells a different story. The Gayly interviewed the Captain, then shared some of the family’s statements with him.
“I don’t have any idea what they are talking about,” said Wells. “We have responded to everything that has been found.”
He said some items have even been sent to the OSBI in Tahlequah.
“We’ve had three pieces of evidence in the last 90 days that are still at the lab. They have to prioritize depending on the immediacy of the incident.”
The Captain said they have followed hundreds of leads, but none were “good leads.” So far, they have investigated all leads, and all of them were dead leads.
“Nothing tends to lead us to the location of Aubrey,” Wells said. “We have not found her body and have no definitive info she has been killed. We hope she is alive somewhere. It is certainly a possibility that she is deceased.”
Wells said the Sherriff’s Office works with OSBI on many cases.
“In December, we got a tip that Aubrey was buried in Missouri,” added Wells. “We sent in the cadaver dogs, but no sign of a body.
“Some people who get arrested try to use ‘knowing something’ about the case to get leniency, but we usually figure them out pretty quick. Sometimes it is a lead we followed up on months ago.”
He said they have even worked with the FBI task force in Northwest Arkansas on this case and the major crimes division at OSBI.
“We have tried to be very transparent as far as the family is concerned.”
Wells said if it were his family, he would be “nuts.”
“If I could find her today, believe me, I would. I have spent the last year searching for this woman and have nothing.”
Despite their limited staff, Wells said, “I can assure you we are doing all we can do on this case. It’s all in her case file.”
The family asks of the public, “Please continue to be Aubrey’s voice, she is still missing, and we are still searching for answers and to find Aubrey.”
Copyright The Gayly. 3/11/2020 @ 6:35 p.m. CST.