Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance
My dad is a Male to Female transsexual, happily married lesbian, devout Christian, and fascinating human.
Watch this preview of the film featuring my family:
http://www.youtube.com/v/sOy6KxoD4RI?fs=1&hl=en_US
She came out to me 14 years ago when I was 16, and it’s been a wild ride ever since. We’ve gone through periods of awkwardness, anger, resentment, and frustration. I’ve struggled with acceptance, and have had to face some very difficult questions – not least of all: “Who is this person who used to be my father…and is now a woman…but is not my mother….?” and “How in the world do I relate to this person?”
But would I trade any of that for simplicity? No.
To me, as a child of a transsexual woman, this is an issue of honesty. We cannot have real and vibrant relationships with each other if we are not first honest with ourselves about who we are, and then honest with those around us. People who have to deal with issues of transgender/transsexuality must be able to fully manifest who they are in all authenticity. How else can they have meaningful relationships with those of us who love them?
My dad – now Sara, or “Saree” to me – and I have not had an easy time. I still feel a sense of loss for my ‘father’ – the one man in my life that was always supposed to be there for me. But when Saree made the move to fully manifest who she is as a woman, our relationship became much deeper. The authenticity that she shows in herself reflects in the way we relate to each other and gives me courage to trust her with the difficult things that I have to be honest about. If we have issues to deal with between us, we talk about it, and I know I can tell her anything. It’s amazing how freeing that kind of honesty can be.
It is my hope that as more and more people like my Saree decide to come out and say “This is who I am. Let’s get to know each other for real” so that our society will stop being afraid of being honest about who we all are in all our complexity. Complexity is what makes humanity interesting and beautiful. We just need the courage to open our eyes and take in all the intricacies of the people around us.
Check out the I AM project by the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition:
http://www.facebook.com/v/1468860681193
http://www.youtube.com/v/NweaKpJRL7w&rel=0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embed...
The National Transgender Day of Remembrance – to me – is about honoring those who have suffered for their authenticity, and about supporting those who are standing strong for who they are in the face of a world that is terrified of honesty – and treats our families differently. Lets just all be who we are: no lies, no fear.
Story by Stephanie Herwig (with resources provided by COLAGE).
The Gayly - 11/20/2015 @ 1:36 p.m. CST