Even you can open your home to LGBT foster children and teens

by Sara Ritsch
Staff Writer

You might see Misty Merideth around. She extends her knowledge and assistance at community gatherings, seeing what she can do to get people involved in her passion – fostering. As a Foster Care Recruiter for Oklahoma DHS (Department of Human Services), her job is to go out into the community and find parents for children in need. In particular, LGBTQ children and teens.

“I honestly didn’t realize LGBT kids were treated any different than other kids,” Merideth says. “I didn’t realize some people can’t accept it. It’s hard for me to fathom.”

Merideth is not your average mother. She and her wife have adopted four children, are fostering their fifth and plan to finalize the adoption late this year. But each of her children have special needs – as did her late daughter, Annie, who lived with Merideth and her wife for 22 months before she passed away.

Merideth’s specialty not only lies with LGBT kids, but with developmentally disabled children. Her passion knows no bounds, as she opens her arms to many of the forgotten. “The love and passion we have for this is just unreal,” she says, noting that she succeeds in finding a home roughly 75 percent of the time.

“There is a need. A lot of kids, they don’t come out until their teens. They’re scared, because some homes are accepting and some homes are not. But once they turn 18, no one will be there for them,” she explains. This is the basest need: once a child turns 18, what will they do?

“When they are ready to age out – when they turn 18 – they are on their own. There is no one to mentor them into college or adulthood [besides community resources]. These are genuinely good kids who just want somebody to come home to from holiday and to have a family.”

But a lot of potential parents are not accepting of LGBT children – they want their kids to reflect their interests, which can be alternative to that of the LGBT community. “We want homes that understand them. We just need people to be accepting, not to try to change them. They are who they are,” Merideth says.

A common misconception about fostering is that youmay not qualify. But you do qualify, and it is almost a guarantee. “You can be single, you can live in an apartment, as long as you have income and can maintain your home without foster care money. Gay, lesbian, whatever; it doesn’t matter, you can foster or adopt. If you’re legally married, you can adopt together. If not, then just one party is able.”

Katelynn Burns, spokesperson for DHS, says there is a severe lack of knowledge. “We want to spread the word to the community that we need more foster parents, period. As many more as we can get.”

The hardest children to place in homes are transgender, developmentally disabled and teens. Most of the children are left in their custody due to abuse or neglect from their caregiver, giving the court power to remove them from their homes. This is at no fault of their own, but the fault of the person who was meant to care for the child or teen. These kids need love.

“If you are interested, single or married, just reach out to us,” Burns says. “We will walk you through your questions and concerns. Just pass a background check and be able to financially support yourself. We can work with you, and if there are any discrepancies we can let you know up front.”

Remember, when these kids turn 18, they have only the community for support. “We can only do so much – we’re not a family. They just want to have those connections and those relationships built to help support them through their journeys.”

There are a little over 10,000 children currently in state custody. The minimum age is 21 to foster, though many “empty nesters” find foster parenting to be an incredibly rewarding experience. If you are interested in becoming a foster or adoptive parent, you can visit www.okfosters.org.

If you are interested in helping the cause, Merideth is in need of items for a back-to-school bash. She will be collecting supplies such as new backpacks, pens and pencils, shoes, socks and underwear. So far, there are not enough donations to hold the event. But you can donate by contacting her at (405) 408-2162 or misty.meridith@okdhs.org.

Copyright 2016 The Gayly – August 16, 2016 @ 7:40 a.m.