Becoming Brave: The fight to win marriage equality in Oklahoma

Mary & Sharon Bishop-Baldwin (r) with co-plaintiffs Sue Barton and Gay Phillips in 2014 after their marriage equality case was decided. File photo by Robin Dorner.

Two-and-a-half years after marriage became legal for same-sex couples in Oklahoma, the lead plaintiffs in the court case that made it happen have written a book about their experiences. Becoming Brave: Winning Marriage Equality in Oklahoma and Finding Our Voice is the title of the book by Sharon Bishop-Baldwin. Her wife, Mary Bishop-Baldwin, wrote a chapter in the book.

Becoming Brave tells the story of the couple’s 10-year legal odyssey in which they and co-plaintiffs Sue Barton and Gay Phillips filed suit in November 2004, challenging a newly minted state constitutional amendment that limited marriage in the Sooner State to opposite-sex couples.

The four women remained determined despite a protracted court battle and they were rewarded for their efforts on Oct. 6, 2014, when the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision not to hear an appeal in the case left standing a lower-court ruling that had gone in their favor. Mary and Sharon were married about eight hours later on the steps of the Tulsa County Courthouse, the very building where they once had been denied a marriage license by the court clerk who was the defendant in their lawsuit.

By no means a law book, Becoming Brave is full of behind-the-scenes stories meant to give the reader a sense of what a wild ride the marriage-equality fight was for two women who had a front-row seat to it. From their earliest days as a couple to life after the lawsuit, Becoming Brave also shares insight into what makes these two women tick.

Sharon Bishop-Baldwin had been an editor at the Tulsa World for nearly 21 years when she left the newspaper to write the book. Mary Bishop-Baldwin still works for the Tulsa World and also edited the book, Sharon’s first.

“I never thought I would write a book, but sometimes a story demands to be told,” Sharon Bishop-Baldwin said. “What’s really gratifying is to hear people who lived much of that story right alongside us saying how engaging they think the book is and how much it contains that they never knew about at the time.”

A book launch Feb. 4 sponsored by Oklahomans for Equality drew about 125 people to the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center in Tulsa. The Bishop-Baldwins read a few passages from the book and answered some audience questions before selling and signing about 100 copies of the book.

Becoming Bravecan be purchased for $20 plus $3.75 shipping directly from the authors on the book’s own Facebook page, facebook.com/becomingbraveoklahoma. The couple will sign and personalize any books ordered from them. The book also can be purchased on Amazon.com.

Book signings are being planned across the state, including 2:30 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 25, at Decopolis in Tulsa; and at 6 p.m. Thursday, March 2, at Full Circle Bookstore in OKC. Another signing is in the works for Norman.

Check the book’s Facebook page for the latest information on signing events.

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